May I be angsty? Time to muse.

You know, it's incredibly hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember kindness given to us. We have no scars to show for joy; we learn so little from peace. Such is men, sad, grudging, but sober. What's the line from Grey's Anatomy? "Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."
Yeah, Meredith Grey; real dynamite lines.


On another issue, maybe it's time to stop being scared. After all, we only see monsters because they want us to see monsters everywhere. They've conditioned us to look for monsters under our beds, to see them in every shadow. As long as we keep seeing monsters, we'll continue to need protection, and that's when we deal control of our own lives into the hands of others. I think I've read a similar quote somewhere before. At the risk of sounding corny, the odd sensation of dejavu is echoing in my ribs.



Anyway, AdMath was inspiring.



A brandy on the harbour, a dulling for the day.
A marriage of convenience, and only for the gray
A last breath to seventy six while he lies on his bed
A last fantasy, a last question, a last voice in his head
A smile on the nymphette; a marriage of convenience
The end is stronger than the brandy choking up her conscience
Languid eyes on the prize; inheritance of her life
Might as well, might as well, cyanide and a knife


"As long as I can use you, as long as I will use you." 6:12 AM